


A Daughter's Call

by Pendule



Category: Gintama
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Dadtoki, Feels, Gintoki needs a hug, Insecurity, Kagura just wants her Earth father back, Kagura too, Kagura-centered, Post-ellipse, Relationship Study
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:15:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26048623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pendule/pseuds/Pendule
Summary: Set during the two years ellipse, right before the terminal’s fight.Gintoki spots Kagura in town with Otae, except that unlike Shinpachi, Kagura recognises him. Gintoki pretends not to see her, and as Kagura senses that she should just pretend as well, she decides to spill her heart out to try to bring him back home instead.
Relationships: Kagura & Sakata Gintoki
Comments: 16
Kudos: 58





	A Daughter's Call

**Author's Note:**

> Hey!  
> First of all, I'm a non-native English speaker, so I'm sorry if there's any mistake.
> 
> That said, I hope that you will enjoy my fic as much as I enjoyed writing it! I got the idea right after reading chapters 687/688 so it's really important that you've read/ watched at least up to these chapters!
> 
> See you at the end!

Kagura had left Edo two years ago with just a brief waving to Gintoki and Shinpachi, and with Sadaharu in her pocket as her only comrade. She’d gone on many planets, so much that she probably couldn’t even give the name of half of them. She had crossed rivers smaller than the size of her pinky, and some bigger than a ship of the Kaientai. She’d seen grass whose green could compete with emeralds, and multicoloured skies whose shade changed at nightfall. She had smelled flowers used to make fragrance that were said to be divine, and tasted fine meals only a few locals had ever eaten.

Yet the rivers’ waters seemed dull when compared to the Arakawa River. And no matter how green the grass was, Kagura never felt the urge to let herself fall and roll on it just like on the riverbanks of the same Arakawa river. When it came to skies, she often found herself longing the soft blue shade filling Edo’s one and never once felt impressed by the curious shades that were presenting in front of her, her mind only drifting back to the soft pink and purple shades she was used to. No fragrance could erase the smell of drizzle falling onto the soil of Kabukichou’s streets on a stormy summer day, and she knew that each bite she took was tasteless and bland when compared to the savours she’d eat with her friends at lunch time.

Coming back on Earth felt just like coming back home after a journey, a feeling she hadn’t even felt when she’d came back to Rakuyu two years ago after having left it for the same amount of time. Yet, when she crossed the doorway to the Yorozuya Agency, a weird stinging cord tensed in her chest as she realised that the home she had longed for was only half full. It was just as if she’d stepped into a nightclub without music or a restaurant without a chef, the pilot to their ship was missing, and neither the stewardess or the co-pilot knew where their pilot was. Whatever she had hoped to find when she’d stepped back on earth, it wasn’t what she had found.

It wasn’t the first time Gintoki was missing. Actually, the punctual disappearances and vanishing were like a forced package, you either accepted Gintoki with it and his hundreds of flaws, or never let him in your life. Kagura was used to it. Shinpachi was used to it. Everyone was used to it. But being used to it never meant that it didn’t hurt. Back when they still lived together like a family, Kagura would be dreading those days when she would wake up to find his room empty, the futon not even undone and his slippers in the exact same position he’d left them the day before. She hated the feeling of terror and apprehensiveness seeping through her veins like frozen blood. There was always this uncertainty about how he would come back, in which state, and when. From one single night to a whole week, her nights were paced by nights filled with cold sweats and days where she couldn’t eat anything because of her churning stomach. Shinpachi was always with her when it happened, never leaving her and Sadaharu’s side because they were all feeling the same.

So when she opened the door to the agency to observe that Gintoki hadn’t come back in those two years, the feeling seizing her was familiar. Almost comforting in its own way, showing that no matter what happened, Gintoki was still the same selfish and devil-may-care asshole as before. But Kagura couldn’t even find it in herself to call Gintoki an egoist. Even if in theory his impromptu getaways seemed selfish, she knew deep down that it was only a way for him to protect her, them, and himself at the same time. She knew how he felt, hearing him talking with Katsura in drunken nights and conversations about how he couldn’t face her if he ended up losing his temper and crumbling into a crying mess in front of her. No matter how carefree he seemed, he couldn’t just let his facade fall apart. Kagura would have liked to tell him that it was okay, that she understood -even though at the time she didn’t understand very much what could bother Gin-san so much that it brought tears to his face and forced him to leave the place for so many days-. She never told him, though; she had always thought that it would have been even worse if he knew that she knew. But now that she was old enough to understand it, and that she was aware of his past, she couldn’t pretend that she ignored what messed with the man’s mind on moonless nights anymore.

Kagura hadn’t needed much time to get back into her old routine with Shinpachi. Obviously it was different with an Agency missing two members out of four. Though they had more jobs than before, the entirety of Edo was still being rebuilt and in need of hands everywhere. And unlike with Gintoki, they had days off. Kagura had only been there for two weeks but she could already tell that they had these days to avoid being scolded by Otose and Otae for overworking themselves. But work kept their minds away from disruptive thoughts. On their days off, nothing diverted them enough to stop their minds from wandering to Gintoki’s whereabouts.

Kagura hated it. It was annoying, this constant feeling that something was missing, this void in her heart that never seemed to fill, even when memories flooded in her mind on sleepless nights. After having lost his track for two years, uncertainties were stronger than during his old getaways, and being now back on Earth instead of foreign lands didn’t make things better. In space, she had been totally oblivious to what was going on on Earth, just like Schrödinger's cat: As long as she didn’t come back, she couldn’t know whether Gintoki had come back as well or not. This wasn’t as painful as having the knowledge that he really wasn’t home.

Anyway. Now was one of those days off, and Otae had insisted on going shopping, excited by the idea that Kagura could now fit in other clothes and wanting to try outfits with her. The Yato girl should have felt happy about it, finally spending time with the people she loved after having been gone for so long, but peace had never reached her. If anything, coming back to Earth had been more of a hassle than anything. ‘-ra, gura, oï, Kagura, are you even listening to me?’. Kagura was taken out of her thoughts by Otae, the woman elbowing her strongly in the side. Being a Yato didn’t do much to stop the pain from Tae’s way too strong nudges, and Kagura always wondered how anyone could be able to support such strong hits, especially when they were supposed to only be playful.

‘Sorry Boss Lady, what were you saying again?’, Kagura only said, trying to follow the discussion. ‘I said _what about calling it a day,_ you don’t seem like you’re enjoying going out and you barely ate two plates more than me at the restaurant. It’s not like you to have such little appetite, I know that without him around it’s different, but we haven’t stopped living because he wasn’t here, you should do the same’. Tae’s words were harsh, but she was right. Kagura had easily left her first house behind and didn’t even spare a last glance to her home planet. She had left without even warning her father, leaving him behind just as if she was trying to cut ties with him. So living without her Earth father shouldn’t be that difficult, right? Otae was right, but it didn’t stop hurting for all that.

She sighed as she nodded, following Otae silently, ‘I’m sorry Boss Lady, I’m just tired, I’ll get better tomorrow’. This seemed to be enough, because Otae smiled at her, taking her by the arm gently and leading her away from the shop they were just in. They didn’t usually get this far away from Kabukichou and the walk back home was a little bit longer than usual. But it was good, no matter how things seemed to have changed, the people were just the same, there were women dressed in kimonos and the men were still sporting chonmage on the top of their head. It was familiar.

Otae wasn’t talking, simply letting Kagura look around. They reached the familiar wooden bridge they’d used to cross so often. The weather was still nice and even though it wasn’t late, it was relatively empty. It was here that they’d first encountered the Gorilla Commander, here that they’d thought Katsura-san had been killed for good, and other memories she couldn’t even start to gather. She liked this bridge because it reminded her of sunny evenings after a tough job when they all crossed the bridge to go and lie onto the grass just to feel the small breeze on their skin and take a nap, lulled by the sound of the flowing river.

As they crossed the wooden bridge, Kagura’s wandering eyes landed onto the back of a man leaning against the railing. His eyes were probably fixed onto the horizon, looking at the setting sun slowly leaving the place to the moon. Maybe it had something to do with the way he was holding himself against the guardrail, or the sandogasa he was wearing to hide his face looking very much like Mutsu’s, but it caught her attention. She froze as her ears started buzzing, the increasing beating of her own heart filling her eardrums and drowning any other sound around. She could feel her palms sweating as her eyes were fixed onto the nape of the neck of the man. She wanted to move, or say something, but couldn't. Just like a Schrödinger cat again, she had no way to know whether this man was Gintoki or not, but something in her guts had kindled at the sight.

She was taken aback by a slightly panicked Otae pulling at her arm, repeating her name a little louder each time the previous one stayed unanswered. The mention of Kagura’s name made the stranger’s shoulders tense, and Kagura’s heart missed a beat. But the man didn’t turn towards them, towards her. Instead, he slowly pushed himself away from the railing, walking into the opposite direction. Kagura wanted to scream, say something, stop him, but her voice couldn’t push past the lump in her throat. The man walked away, each step seemingly faster, and soon enough he was out of sight. Kagura’s breath hitched as she realised that she was maybe missing her last chance to say something to him before he would do something stupid. Maybe too harshly, she got herself out of Tae’s bruising grip and ran towards the path the silhouette had taken. Just a word, she just wanted to say something, she didn’t even need him to look at her, just to prick up his ears as she said what was on her heart. It was the only thing she wanted, all she needed to let him go once again.

Kagura was running as fast as she could, trying so badly to reach him, just this once she didn’t want to follow after him. Otae was following suit, not understanding what was going on but decided to catch the girl. Kagura spotted the man ahead, turning into a small alley. She didn’t hesitate as she followed suit, the alley was small but she didn’t even slow down. The stranger was about to turn again, into an artery where Kagura was sure that she would lose him, before she screamed ‘WAIT’. She didn’t think it would do anything, but strangely, the man stopped, still inside the small alley, but about to run away. Behind her, Kagura heard Otae slowing down as she reached her. It was weird now, the man being not even 10 meters away from them, and the two girls behind, everyone turning their back to the others.

The more the seconds passed and the more Kagura’s resolve on the man’s identity was strengthened. She knew Gintoki well enough to know how he would act in such a situation, and when he tilted his head forward a little too much as he took his breath and she caught sight of a strand of silver hair, Kagura knew that her guts had been right. She had to talk now, she shouldn’t have stopped him if it wasn't to not talk afterward. She took a deep breath before she spoke up. She was afraid that it would scare him away, but it was useless to stay here, silent in the middle of some random back alley.

‘You know, I understand why he’s gone’, she started, slowly. She wasn’t sure to whom she was speaking to, but maybe if she pretended to talk to Otae, she could let Gintoki pretend that she hadn’t recognised him. Let him keep the facade of his stupid game where Kagura was supposedly too stupid to not recognise the man she considered like her second father. He was stupid just like that, after all, so she shouldn’t have been so surprised.

‘I definitely don’t know why, but I know that whatever he has to do, it must be pretty important’, she stopped, clenching her fists. ‘Because a guardian never leaves what he protects alone, except if he has good reasons to do so. I’m sure that he’s doing a good job, and that soon enough he will be able to come back to Kabukichou. He’ll be glad to see how nothing has changed, and how Shinpachi took good care of the Agency. Don’t tell Shinpachi I said that, Boss, he’ll be too big for his boots’. Otae shifted behind her, chuckling softly, ‘I’ll make sure to keep that for myself, Kagura-chan’.

There was a small pause before Kagura talked again. ‘You know, Gin-chan knows many things about my family, about yours and Shinpachi’s as well, and we all know things about Gin-chan’s past, but… it feels like he only disclose things that he deems necessary, and hides the rest. It hurts to know that he’s hurting and that we can do nothing. We can’t help him because we don’t even know what’s going on. He loves to do things on his own, and I wish he would trust us a little bit more… I don’t want him to see us as weak people he has to protect’. She paused, tears starting to fall on her cheeks and she had to sniff before starting again. ‘I want him to know that we can protect him too. You, the Yorozuya Agency, Tsukuyo, Sacchan, Zura, Toshi, and everyone else. He has us, he saved us so many times, I would want him to know that it’s okay to rely on us as well’.

Otae walked the small steps that separated her from Kagura, putting an arm around the girl’s shoulders. ‘Kagura-chan…’, she started, not really knowing what to say. The kid didn’t usually open up that much. On her side, Kagura only had eyes for the ma- _Gintoki_ in front of her. It seemed that Otae hadn’t noticed him. ‘I miss him very much. I miss Gin-chan and I miss Sadaharu, and I just want them back so much. But I’ll stay strong until both finally come back to leech off the Agency’s money’. Big fat tears were now rolling down her cheeks, and she sniffed as much as she talked. ‘I’m sure that he misses us too, you know how he’s no good without us…. Oh god I hope he knows how much we love him’, she said, breaking down a sob. It was so unlike her, she hated it, but if that could make Gin-chan understand that he wasn’t alone and that he’d still have a place in Kabukichou, it was worth it.

Her heart ached as she was talking, holding herself back the best she could, because if she wavered even only for a brief second, she knew that she wouldn’t be able to resist the urge of running to him and hug him. She’d missed him so much, it was so unfair that she had to wait even more to greet him properly even though he was just here, next to her. But she held back, for him. ‘He’s really a stupid man. He’s really stupid if he thinks that we’re going to let him go just like that. Because if he does, then he’s barking up the wrong tree, because once Kabukichou’s people hold onto something, they don’t let go of it, ever’. She took a shuddering breath, ‘I’d fight the entire world if that meant that he’d come back to the Agency. Everyone would do so. I hope Gin-chan knows it’. She paused again, thinking.

‘...Maybe he feels too ashamed of coming back home because he thinks that it isn’t his anymore, home. But he’s wrong. This place, the Yorozuya Agency, is _his_ home. And I would have loved to say “I’m home” when I came back after two years, but I can’t do it, just like Shinpachi can’t either. Because it’s not our home when Gin-chan’s not here… I-I don’t want to call this place a home when my stupid father is not here to greet me’.

She could see how Gintoki’s shoulders were shaking, and how he held his head low and her heart clenched. ‘Edo is nothing without him, look all around you, Amantos are just acting like assholes again and there’s no one anymore to make them remember that this country is the land of the samurais… Shinpachi will wear this title until the last decent samurai of this country comes back to his home town, but I can’t resolve myself in calling it that way when all the samurais lose their will to fight because he’s not here anymore.’ She brought her left arm to her face, wiping her tears clumsily.

‘To be honest, I don’t care about samurais. I just want my Earth father back. There’s nothing fun to do when I can’t wake him up too early on a hungover day, or when I can’t scream after him because he forgot to buy me sukonbu again…’. Next to her, Tae chuckled softly. ‘ I know that it’s probably stupid but… When I see that he still hasn’t come back after all this time, I wonder if it’s because he got tired of us, tired of me. Maybe that’s why Papi left too, it’s because I’m just a bad daughter who makes everyone run away-’ ‘Kagura no, of course not-’ Otae interrupted her, but Kagura kept going anyway. ‘I know that I always pretend to be better than him and that I always say that he doesn’t deserve a star like me, but that’s all false. Meeting Gin-chan was the best thing that ever happened to me, and I don’t want to be the reason why he left everyone’. Otae was hugging her completely now, a hand soothingly running through her hair as the other one was rubbing her back.

‘You know what? Maybe I’m a stupid daughter, but Gin-chan is an even worse father. Birds of a feather flock together, yes?’ She sniffled, ‘Then, as the most annoying, loud and gluttonous daughter in the world, I’ll wait the most stupid, stingy and irritating father of the entire universe right here, in Kabukichou. Then I’ll tell him what I think about his shitty parenting, and he’ll be able to tell me whether or not I’m a bad daughter. Until then, I’ll wait, because I trust him enough to know he’ll come back. He always comes back’.

She slowly looked up from Otae’s chest, watching Gintoki unclench his fists and wipe his face with his right sleeve. He took a deep breath before straightening up, and stepped into the other street, disappearing from Kagura’s sight without a look behind. But this time it was okay, Kagura felt it, the turmoil in her empty heart draining as peace filled her mind. Gintoki would come back.

**Author's Note:**

> Soo... I really do hope that you liked it!
> 
> Okay so I don’t know if that made any sense or if it was even just a little in character, but I needed to get it out of my system. I just thought about it after seeing the scene where Shinpachi, Asaemon and Shachi were talking about Gintoki even though he was just next to them.
> 
> I know that it was just pure Gintama typical stupidity, but it still felt off to me that Shinpachi wasn't able to recognise Gintoki, so I decided to write my vision of what would have happened if it had been Kagura instead. And then I ended up exploring Kagura's feelings a little bit more than I had expected, but anyway, I hope that you liked it!
> 
> (And to be honest, it was the first time I ended up crying while writing something ahah, the feels were just too much, the relationship between Kagura and Gintoki is just too much for me, I love them so much ♥)
> 
> And a special thanks to the wonderful Rai who beta read this fic, she was of great help! 
> 
> Anyway, please leave some kudos and comments, it always makes me so happy to read them!! :D


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